Eager for Easter
Aaaah, Easter. That magical time of year that brings a sparkle to the eye and a wave of
nostalgia (and, depending on your chocolate intake, nausea) to people everywhere. For the
Jewish, it represents The Passover, a celebration of God's mercy. For Christians, it
represents The Resurrection, also a celebration of God's mercy. For those not theologically
inclined, it's another phone call from Mom, asking if, for once, you're going to make an
appearance at home.
Personally, I love the Easter story and how it's supported by nature's renewal. And what
better way to celebrate this event than by purchasing a giant chocolate dinosaur! And
nothing says 'Fair is Fair' like an equally large, chocolate Barbie! And let's not forget
stuffed animals. And Star Wars figurines. In fact, according to a recent survey done by a
bunch of guys with too much time on their hands, Easter is now the #2 day for receiving toys
as gifts, second only to Christmas! Where did that come from? Regarding Christmas I
understand how the story of St. Nicholas leaving gifts for peasants (98.9% of the known world
back then) would be celebrated and repeated, but what's the toy tie-in with Easter? As a
matter of fact, how the heck did a RABBIT enter the picture? Especially a chocolate-egg-laying
rabbit. I mean, I could see watching for the Easter Robin (an animal that actually does lay
eggs, for your information), or even the Easter Groundhog (hey, it's not as cute but at least
it's SEASONAL-just don't eat his 'eggs'), but a bunny is beyond me.
Really, though, these questions are just for adults. Kids don't care WHERE the treats come
from. I didn't. When I was a kid, the entire purpose of Easter Sunday was to get up EARLIER
than your siblings, be FASTER than your siblings, and get more CANDY than everyone on the
planet. Then count it all, compare with your brothers and sisters and gloat. After that,
your main job is to eat as much of it as possible before your parents get up, just in case
they would tell you something stupid like: 'No candy until after breakfast' or 'Don't eat too
much candy or you'll get sick.' These rules were foreign concepts to us, despite the fact
that there were more rules about CANDY when we were kids than there were about anything else
we would encounter. Don't eat too much candy; brush your teeth after eating candy; don't take
candy from strangers, etc. If it wasn't for adults giving us those rules, this country would
be full of overweight people with the worst nutritional habits around. Thank goodness THAT
hasn't happened.
The best part of Easter for me is the rich tradition that we brought from our childhood. How it
warms my heart to think of the annual rites that we not only passed through as youngsters, but
that we obviously passed on to our own brood. Three specifically come to mind:
1-Children whining for more candy! Yes, it seems like it never stops. And, thanks to Grandma's
soft heart, it never will. Just as they're coming off the last 'sugar high,' Granny's there to
give them another fix.
2-Children fighting over candy! Whoo Hoo! 'It's my candy!''No, it's MINE!''No, it's MINE!' Talk
about setting the tone for the day. Nothing gets you praying for the 'Second Coming' like
having to listen to a bunch of kids arguing back and forth for an hour.
3-Children waking up at midnight and puking their guts out! Comparable to a scene from
'The Exorcist,' except most of the foul language is directed at your respective
mothers-in-law.
Thankfully, there is another Easter tradition enjoyed only by parents. It is one that is
time-honoured and much anticipated every year. It's called: Wait Until the Kids Are Sleeping
and Snork Back Chocolate Like There's No Tomorrow.
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