Life 101
Safety First
Safety Regulations
One of the problems we seem to be having with evolution is that certain species appear to be cheating. I am not going to point fingers here but their name rhymes with Fromo Frapiens.
The whole basis of evolution is that,over billions of years and through random acts of nature (i.e. lightning,volcanoes and "glam rock"),only the strongest of each species survived. The ones who didn't survive weren't as fast,as strong or as smart. This kind of made sense. (It was the next part,where the prehistoric trout slowly,over thousands of years, turned into a prehistoric woolly mammoth,that I had problems with.)
As I said before,however,we are cheating. We,who are now winning the evolutionary game have decided to change the rules while we're on top. Our new motto is:"Humans-we're keeping the dumb ones!"
You see,back in my day we had most of the modern conveniences that we do now with one major difference: we weren't so focused on safety. We had cars but who would think of using a 'seat belt'. In fact, when the car was moving,the fun thing to do was to use the back seat as a trampoline. It was even more fun when the car came to a sudden stop and you,my friend,would go FLYING into the front dashboard (which,by the way,was made of metal). Those were the days when a boy was carefree and glad to be alive (and have all his teeth).
Things have certainly changed,and not for the better. Not that I'm against doing things the safe way,I just think things have gone a little too far and the only ones to benefit are the DUMB ones that,in another,less gentle era,would have been so much dinosaur fodder).
For instance,go to your local retailer,buy almost any product on the market, (including cheese),and see what kind of Warning Label it has on it.
CONTACT LENS CLEANER-"do not spray directly on your eye"
A CURLING IRON-"do not use this device while in the shower"
BEER-"please drink responsibly" (Shouldn't it also mention something about how when too much goes in, it will come right back out the same way and take most of your supper with it?)
PEANUT BUTTER-"this product contains peanuts"
AN IRON-"do not use this device under water"
CHEESE-"contents may block air passage if not chewed properly"(Okay,this one I made up)
These are not warnings that the average person needs.How often do you curl your hair OR iron your clothes while bathing? And who would say to himself:"Whew,it's late and I'm tired. No need to take the ol' contacts out...I'll just bring the Lens Cleaner to bed with me."
All we are doing with these warnings is allowing those who are "a few fries short of a happy meal" the chance to live a little longer and then REPRODUCE.
Fortunately for us,all hope is not lost.In an article by the Associated Press,it seems that "for the first time hospital patients often catch life-threatening staph infections from germs they harbour in their own noses." That's right. Try as we might to protect them,we can't stop people from picking their noses and THAT,my friend,is where nature steps in and helps us out.
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