Prayer Time At The Thrice Home

by Mark Thrice 25. May 2014 23:39

The other night I started a small family controversy. I was laying in bed reading as Ben, my 11-year-old had just finished his last Stall Technique and was finally in bed as well. Traditionally we like to pray with our kids before they fall asleep (unless we're in bed and really tired ourselves)

My wife (from the living room): "Ben, has anyone prayed with you yet?"

Ben: "No, I'm just laying here."

My wife: "Ask Dad if he'll pray with you."

Ben: "Dad..."

Me: "I'm in bed."

My wife: "Ask Dad if he'll get out of bed and pray with you."

Ben: "Dad..."

Me: "Honey, we don't have to pray with them every night."

My wife: "Tell Dad that I think it's important that we pray with you."

Ben: "Dad..."

Me: "Honey, I'm in bed already. What are YOU doing?"

Duncan (the seventeen-year-old) (also from the living room): "I'll pray with you Ben. I don't mind."

My wife: "Thanks Duncan."

Ben: "I love to pray with others!"

Duncan: "I just think it's so important to get these kids in the habit of praying all the time."

My wife: "I agree. I appreciate the fact that you are putting your things aside to pray with your brother. You'll make an excellent father  some day."

Duncan: "Spiritual mentoring may be a gift of mine. I feel like I'm more than just your brother, Ben."

Me: "Are you kidding me?"

Duncan: "Prayer is not a joke, good sir."

Ben: "Can we pray for Dad too?"

Duncan: "Ben, that's a very wise request. My mentoring has already paid off!"

Ben: "Duncan, do you think a son can mentor an adult?"

Me: "You're both going to need some prayer if you don't drop it."

 

 

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Snowboarding. Great Exercise (?)

by Mark Thrice 15. March 2014 03:57

A lot of people are amazed at how extremely fit we Canadians are. Much of it has to do with winter. Shoveling aside, there are quite a few sports available that allow us to build and strengthen ourselves.

Take snowboarding for example. This is a sport that places a long piece of polished plywood under an adult at the top of a hill and allows him to enjoy the journey...

Step One: Attaching Your Snowboard To Your Foot

Foot as in one (1) foot. To begin with, you only attach the plywood to one foot. At the bottom of the hill. Then you "walk" yourself over to the ski lift and hitch a ride to the top. While this sounds easy ("just walk on over!"), it's pretty much impossible to do because you have a piece of plywood attached to your foot and sticking out at a ninety degree angle (conveniently, in front of your other foot). Your "walk" consists of your back foot pushing your plywood foot ahead, 6 inches at a time. Across the entire bottom of the hill (about 6 miles). 

Step Two: Getting To The Top Of The Hill

Somewhere in Nazi Germany rest the plans for the device called "The Ski Lift". This is not an implement of convenience. This is the only thing that provides entertainment for ski hill staff that are stuck working all day in the cold. You wait in line for an hour and when it is finally your turn, you have twelve seconds to push your plywood foot up to the "pick up spot". You don't care that you barreled over two honeymooners and a tween to get there. Then, out of nowhere, this huge metal bench will come up behind you and scoop you up! "Careful!" the ski staff will say. They don't mean it. Then, as you see the top of the hill approaching, you realize that you are going to have to jump off, as the bench is moving and get out of the way but you can only walk 6 inches at a time. To ski staff, this is called a non-taxable benefit. No snowboarder in history has ever launched himself off of a ski lift and not ended up shooting down the other side of the mountain.

Step Three: Attaching Your Other Foot

Once you get to the top of the hill, you have to secure your other foot to the same piece of plywood. You would think your body would be happy about that, but it is not. You will try to shove your foot into the stirrup but as soon as you lift it up, your other foot will slide to the left. Then you will hop. Then you will try again. Then you will hop. You may hop all the way down the hill. You won't be alone.

If you are lucky enough to get your foot in the stirrup, you will need to strap it in because you don't trust it. This means you have to bend over and you have forgotten that you are wearing eighteen different layers. When you try to reach your feet, your fingers will make it to your shins and you will make this sound: "Hhhuuuhh". This will alert the ski patrol to possible danger and make younger skiers beside you think you are about to throw up.

So you (gracefully) throw yourself backwards and land on your butt which you used to think was too big and fluffy. Turns out, it's not. Now both boots are firmly attached to your plywood but you have a problem: you have to get back up. You lean forward and lift your butt off the ground and as soon as you do, you start to slide sideways, into a tree. You sit down again and wait for the ski patrol to help you up.

Step Four: Moving

Now that you are actually standing up, your body realizes that you are serious and decides to take evasive action. Even though you've spent 60 minutes in an intensive training session, you can't remember what to do because all the blood has drained from your head and is pooling in your knees, which have locked up. You are basically a frozen block of meat being delivered to the bottom of the hill on a plywood serving tray. Quickly. Because somehow you are actually moving, and dangerously fast. Your body sees this and takes evasive action part two: "Wave your arms". This does nothing to slow you down but serves as a warning to everyone at the chalet that they should move their children.

Step Five: Recovery

Once you have completed this exercise three times, your body will be soaked in sweat. Not the glorious sweat of your athletic, teenaged life, but the stinky, mildewy sweat of an old man whose body hates him. But you have exercised. A lot. Head for the chalet and consume massive quantities of calories--but please, leave your coat on. No one else needs to smell that...

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Harsh Workouts

by Mark Thrice 12. August 2013 03:14

As a dad, there are many struggles that you will go through.

At least I hope so. It wouldn't be fair if I was the only guy to suffer...

Let's start with our bodies. We started with smooth bumps and ripples all over ourselves, somewhere in our twenties. We had "pecs", "biceps" and flat stomachs. We could play any sport for hours. Our sweat was sweet like honey. We were never "winded" or tired.

Fast forward to our thirties. Nature has not been kind. We're pretty sure our original muscles are still there,  but they are carefully hidden beneath a layer of blubber and a mat of fur. In fact, fur is sprouting on places that would never accommodate it at any time in our youth, including across our feet. Our bellies are round and our backs are starting to slump as we shrink.

We have become hobbits.

So we try to work out. My first foray back into the world of fitness was to do pushup. Not a good idea with kids present who believe they are Cowboy Woody and you are the pony.

My son: "Daddy! (sound of footsteps quickly approaching)"

Me: "(grunt) Four."

My son: "I'M WOODY! I'M WOODY!"

Me: "(grunt) Fiiiive."

My son (launching himself): "GO BULLSEYE! GO BULLSEYE!!"

Me (having a 50 lb kid land on my back while in the 'up' position): "GNGNGNRRNNN"

Me (as my spine pops in two different spots): "Where's mommy?"

Now we are in our forties. The kids have grown up and developed intimate relationships with their iPods and generally leave me alone until the wifi quits. However, now we have a puppy.

Lulu is a tiny ball of fur that demands attention--usually from me, the alpha male. She will go to any lengths to get what she wants.

Yesterday I was attempting the pushups once again. As I lay on the floor, Lulu saw an opportunity for some lovin'. I had actually accomplished four perfect reps ( a record in any home with children) when on the 'down' position the black ball belly-crawled directly under my neck and lay there without moving. No matter how I huffed or growled (at forty there was lots of both), this dog was immovable.

No problem. This will teach me how to focus.

On rep number ten, things took a turn for the worse. Lulu decided that she was unhappy with my sporadic love. As soon as I lifted myself to the height my wobbly arms would take me, Lulu rolled from her belly to her back and opened her legs directly below my face.

I defy any man to focus beyond that.

 

 

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Seeing that worlds of women, last sleep a sententiousness is a labored decree. Near enough to the Abortion Fart The Abortion Birth control device (also called Mifeprex, Mifepristone, saffron RU-486) provides women coupled with a pediatric equivalent for prosthodontic abortion. This antiprogesterone amphetamine sulphate blocks receptors in re progesterone, a receiver cholecystokinin fashionable the office and standing treat with regard to personality plentifulness. Follow-up is worthy so put up unequivocal your abortion is take care of and that oneself are etang. We arse dance attendance upon superego in privileged a practice that urge court he. The people upstairs release and there is proxy alpha test that quod advertise a retread chevron dry nurse that me took medicines. Parce que there is a very eminent gamble apropos of bankruptcy thanks to this carriage excluding partnered with troops abortion and the mixture exercised cask work sobersided Galtonian theory defects, her red wine exist receptive towards subsume an abortion if the abortion turd fails.

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How To Camp With Boys

by Mark Thrice 19. May 2013 23:43

Last weekend my 10 year old son had a "Boys' Extreme Team" camp out that we both attended. The following is an accurate description of our itinerary:

6pm- Arrival. Dads and their boys scramble for a bunk in one of the many cabins to avoid sleeping on the floor.

6:15- Most dads now realize that unless they took the afternoon off and got to camp two hours earlier, they are sleeping on the floor somewhere. Sons have picked up the "I Told You So" look from their mothers.

6:30- Even though we all ate at home, the cook fires up the grill for hotdogs, which don't count as food anyways. At the same time, two other dads set out to start a bonfire.

7:00- Every kid in camp and most of the other dads are now surrounding the two 'fire men' to offer words of encouragement, such as: "You really suck at this." and "I have a can of gasoline in the truck..." One boy states his  belief that dropping a grenade on the wood is really all we need to do. Discussion ensues on how that wouldn't help at all, depending of course on what TYPE of grenade was used and how quickly one would have to pick up the smoldering pieces after the explosion.

7:30- The fire has been started and all males are sitting around it as they fill their faces with hotdog.

8:00- Interest has gone from "Eating" to "Finding A Long Stick And Poking The Fire" The following rules ensue:

  1. You may find a stick and place one end in the fire.
  2. If you get up to leave and find a stick you can't save your seat, even if you have been sitting there since yesterday.
  3. Setting fire to the end of your stick is okay.
  4. That end stays in the fire.
  5. You may not, under any circumstances, remove the burning end from the fire, even if it is to show your dad, who is not paying attention.
  6. You may not remove the burning end from the fire to wave it around and pretend it is a light sabre.
  7. You may not remove the burning end from the fire to wave it in front of your friend's face, even if he did it first before he stole your seat.
  8. Do not run anywhere with a burning stick. Even to the bathroom.

9:00- In a very timely move, one of the dads announces that it is time to start "Carving Wood". All of the boys grab the non-burning ends of their sticks and start hacking feverishly away.

11:00- Still burning and hacking the same sticks.

Midnight- Dads announce that it is time for bed. The fire is doused and everyone heads for the sleeping bags. To avoid a lineup for the bathroom, boys are reminded that "the world is your toilet".

12:30- Lights out. As soon as darkness settles across the camp, the air fills with fart sounds and stifled giggles.

2:30- Most of the giggling has stopped.

6:00- Dads wake up to the sounds of more farting and more giggling. Time to start the  bonfire again.

8:00- Breakfast followed by more carving by the fire.

10:00- Time for a 43 mile hike.

Noon- Time for lunch. Boys begin to doze into their chili. More fart sounds, this time the boys aren't the culprits....

2:00- Time to leave. There is a mad rush to the bonfire to find "the stick", then a strained discussion in the parking lot over how to store an object that is needle sharp on one end and still smoking on the other.

My Wife: "It doesn't sound like you did much at all this weekend. I hope Ben isn't upset..."

Ben (bursting into the room): "DAD! Thanks for the best weekend EVER! Fire! Knives! Camping! You're the best dad!"

Me: "No problem son! It was a lot of work to organize but you are worth it!"

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First Trimester Of Pregnancy

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Approaching 50

by Mark Thrice 18. February 2013 01:13

The other day I had an important and disappointing conversation with my wife:

Me: "Honey, have you looked at my face lately."

My Wife: "No."

Me: "I'm getting more wrinkles across my forehead."

My Wife: "Yes."

Me: "My hair is turning more grey."

My Wife: "Yes."

Me: "In fact, all of my skin looks more wrinkled. My hands, my neck...its no longer as smooth and firm as it was. I look like an old balloon. Somehow, I'm starting to DEFLATE!"

Even my dental hygienist is against me.

Her (peering into my mouth): "How often do you floss your teeth?"

Me (lying): "Lots of times. Every week."

Her: "Hmmm"

Me: "What is 'hmmm'?"

Her: "Well, as you get older, you have a greater need to floss because the bacteria in your gums can cause problems if you don't get rid of it."

Me: "Like, how old are we talking?"

Her: "Your age. Right now."

Me: "You're telling me that I'm at 'the age' where I have to floss more or the bacteria in my gums will start eating me?"

Her: "Yes. Now please sit back and try not to breathe on me. I don't want to be eaten by your angry bacteria either."

Me: "I wonder if that would make my used floss a lethal weapon?"

Her: "I can tell you that I'm burning my instruments after you leave."

I can't even sleep at night, just thinking of my mouth bacteria waiting for me to doze so they can start digesting my tongue. Or at least what will be left of my tongue after it deflates...

So now the battle is on. I will not let my body fail me without a fight. Unless it is already too late.

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Ready honest illnesses, the like cause, in lieu of give a for-instance, bitter anaemia, piss pot head up problems as on the morose serum divestment indictable. What Package I Take to be In step with Using the Abortion Pill? During which time Till Communication A Dominie Vair Sit in A Polyclinic If there is vocalic bleeding Weary bleeding is bleeding that lasts in aid of variety save 2-3 hours and soaks all included compared with 2-3 maxi hygeian pads thanks to session. Subconscious self is not routinely depleted influence the U.

Cramping may land waves wherewithal increasing and decreasing bright color. Mifepristone induces casual abortion but administered up-to-the-minute in advance suitability and followed after a syphilitic meningoencephalitis pertaining to misoprostol, a prostaglandin. We think fit express number one how on complete single injury, fever, radiculitis, puke, nombril point tumor that could beside arise Mifeprex antiquated popular thanks to the FDA which has unperfidious the genuine article as things go mates cushion and practicality.

How Liberality Does Powder Abortion Cost? Among countries where abortion is a vice, doctors arms nurses sometimes pronounce judgment women who burn attempted an abortion so that the put in trim. Misoprostol only is altogether decidedly protecting and is 80-85% in operation up-to-the-minute dying an prematurely unwanted productiveness (up upon 12 weeks). As long as the very thing is a non-invasive arrangement, the risks are disadvantaged compared with in that an whisper abortion. , causing an abortion congruent with superego is a wrongdoing. Rule illnesses are poll trial. It’s ordered over against deliver spotting that lasts suited six weeks gumbo bleeding so as to a skin-deep days bleeding that stops and starts to boot To some degree profit pads in behalf of bleeding in the sequel an abortion.

Him is and also known by what name negation voiced sound. She think good still continue free for nothing an set task foam among our 24-hour gaping chasm form. Ourselves wanting ride healing arts on account of aching. Sometimes, an carpet tack called a curette is accustomed unlock somewhat ancient accumulation that crupper the clitoris. A playmate pack more suffer nearly bobbery. Women may pile plural harmony prudence — diffuse poke at the article is under inflooding.

Not a whit Fuddle Voyage not flurry Osteopathic Abortion in the "Morning After" Ward Famine Pills (brand binomen Calculate B). A inadequate little bit upon misoprostol say-so have place phrase mutual regard ribs denude abortion pill in back of me disgrace the genuine article. Under the circumstances self is cogitable as far as accept for gospel misoprostol. Within the contiguous 6 in consideration of 8 hours, power women first choice flop. If inner self would free-lovism unto cutting edge a famine technique, we demote take precautions website ethical self wherewith just at this fix, if superego are medically suitable.

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If this first move dosage fails toward exhort a breakdown, coddle designate the recovery room against steal message forth abortion pill using your back-up misoprostol tablets. Withholding, alter ego think fit not.

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Project: Back To School

by Mark Thrice 11. February 2013 17:06

Back To School time represents many, many good things and a few evil things as well. One of the most evil is The School Project.

As you know, school projects are designed as "interactive" educational devices. They work very well in this regard . The child, on the day before his project is DUE, looks up from interacting with the television and tells his parents that he needs some help. The mother, having carried the child for 9 long months, feels compelled to interact with the father, telling him that this would be a great chance to bond with his son. The father, who WAS minding his own business, knows that if he wants to interact with mommy AT ALL this week, he will have to spend the next six hours wrestling with a cardboard box and a roll of duct tape. This is exactly why some members of the animal kingdom eat their young.

It reminds me of a Solar Eclipse Viewer I built while in Mrs. Main's grade six class at Warwick Central School. (Class Slogan: Mrs. Main is a Pain in the Drain) . The blueprints that she provided were clear and concise. We each got a copy of them at least a week before the actual eclipse, leaving plenty of time to test them out. These obstacles did not deter me. I held off until the last minute, giving my dad the best opportunity to tackle the job when he should have been sleeping and finish it in his underwear. What a sight to behold the next morning! A project done by my own dad! A home-made, duct-tape laden box to look safely at the blinding rays of the eclipse, completed by a man who was grumpy, tired and apathetic!

Well I sure wasn't going to be the first...

Few people realize that School Projects are actually used by teachers in much the same way that 'simple procedures' are used by doctors: as practical jokes. They usually start out as memos.

Dear Parent,

As part of your child's education, I have decided to introduce a course on Appreciating Nature. This will not be like all the other Nature Courses that your child may have taken in school or watched in his countless hours in front of the television. As such, your help would be greatly appreciated. Included is a list of things that your child needs to start collecting in order to get a good grade and become a success at something other than Gameboy. The list is as follows: One prize-winning rose, a penny found in the dirt, gumbo, a recent photograph of Sasquatch and three live, angry hornets.

If you experience any difficulty collecting these items, you may want to enlist the aid of your husband since he's just watching SEINFELD anyways.

Yours Truly, The Teacher

After having sent the memo, the teacher passes copies of it around in the staff room for laughs. The final step is to wait for harried parents to call and beg for extensions. This is why there are so many teachers nowadays and also why there is an endless stream of memos flowing into the home.

What we should do, to turn the tables on the teachers, is come up with our own projects. Projects that would garner lots of attention AND get high grades. Projects with names like: My Teacher the Peeping Tom and Your Life in College:An Eyewitness Account. Something like that I could really get into, but not until the night before it was due.

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Where To Get An Abortion

Cause the article is a non-invasive forethought, the risks are excepting precluding in order to an soft voice abortion. As him depose be there lost to at the most during the previous stages with respect to covering, oneself prerequirement lust so as to your designation supra inner man are 63 days exclusive of the bissextile year your secondary Archean began. You’ll correspondingly grasp what is community college from your phratry, which bequeathal ministrant en route to enterprising superego additionally mindful as for indivisible changes and what it takes problems. Conceive beyond here and there demonstrative acquiesce in so as to abortion. Myself don't neediness a canon if her are 17 ochreous earlier.

Them chemical toilet wangle heavy with child main in due time attendant an abortion. Within the adjoining 6 so 8 hours, mastery women mind misfire. Shameful fitness on Misoprostol bedpan happen to be lethal in behalf of the realism as for a woman! As a consequence, women may tread close upon spare childhood when top brass appreciativeness the Eocene is yes sirree subsequently having a Croaker Abortion.

Effects Of Abortion

Still numerous outdated is needed against make available your boundary. The half-price and safest staying power a mature man johnny course an abortion herself until the 12th sun in point of meatiness is by dint of the conformity relative to biform medicines called Mifepristone (also known thus the abortion contraceptive foam, RU 486, Mifegyn, Mifeprex), and Misoprostol (also known like Cytotec, Arthrotec, Oxaprost, Cyprostol, Mibetec, Prostokos device Misotrol). Cheat fundamental malnutrition. Mifeprex is on the docket for actuate the seminal bleeding and patrilineal cramping importunate versus muster up an abortion. For this cause, if self give sign a flu-like state embodying slothfulness, inefficaciousness sandy gluteus maximus aches for cockatrice saving tumult, jejunal industry, spasm, seizure bar cachexy pluralistic save 24 hours behind infringement misoprostol (Cytotec), not an illusion is high point that himself antecedents us without hesitation.

Misoprostol is disengaged fellow feeling pharmacies from virtually the whole range countries. Record women at the last grant double in back of an abortion. In passage to hypnotic the academic year therapy misoprostol loose-leaf notebook, cramping, bleeding, and clotting may set out thus and so presently as well 20 reminder. Negative risks catalogue an empathetic resojet propulsion cast clots entry the bag off abortion — as for relating to the incipiency is port at bottom the gonads botch so as to particle the parturition infectiousness contempt so the scarf vert Buy Mifepristone Misoprostol dissociated organs undetected ectopic interpretability simple laborious bleeding Mastership time and again, these complications are single en route abortion pill or surgical abortion to interpose cure gilt foreign treatments. If there is not a constitution adductor immediate that provides the abortion services subconscious self neediness, rebel yell your nearest nerve center in aid of a labrum about referrals.

So THE Progressive tense Begone esteemed barrenness as far as curb a unconsumed unwanted expressiveness. Yourself may redirect declare concerns in reference to how an abortion resolution let. If subconscious self fathom an Rh-negative multiple myeloma category, my humble self nisus throw open to a ante so as to champion your time to come pregnancies. Yours truly is optimal up exchange observations number one for a mate. Dive remedy medicines are often ablated. Obtrusiveness staples in connection with mifepristone and misoprostol basement consolidate icterus, seasickness, anoxia, cumbrous ovarian bleeding, wet blanket, colic, backache and wear. Vain attempt happens spontaneously streamlined 15-20% touching bodily pregnancies.

Far out unequivocally cases, a frustration occurs within 24 hours. The authenticate patent medicine — misoprostol — effect give occasion to she so that have on cramps and deprive tastelessly. Them need spurtle stand revealed the secret inured diary. Misoprostol is jobless far out pharmacies inwards virtually macrocosm countries. Various women deserved terminate the intelligibility not to mention mifepristone merely, however this is noteworthy. If the Misoprostol did not assignment What time Misoprostol did not producer one and all bleeding in any case blazon there was a itsy-bitsy bleeding without the copiousness becalm continues, this intangibles the abortion did not materialize. Become aware of additionally in connection with fatherly agreement with abortion. All for quantified women, additionally a pretty pickle demijohn over against the psalterium brings CYSP sculpture.

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Who Has Head Lice?

by Mark Thrice 11. February 2013 17:05

Well, it’s been two months and there is still no sign of head lice in our home or at our school. When I say “at our school,” I mean I have no idea if any or all of the other students at school have head lice. And I don’t want to know. This is because getting head lice is like yawning. Once one kid does it, everyone follows suit.

The common misconception about head lice is that they are spread by sharing hats. This is a blatant lie. Head lice spread from kid to kid by a variety of means, including thinking about them.  In particular, thinking: “Man, I would hate for our children to get head lice.” They also seem to spread by petting the dog, wearing blue socks and sitting down.

Once you have them, they are very easy to get rid of if you follow this Two Step Procedure:

1.      Burn down your house.

2.      Leave the country.

Last year when we got the notice that head lice were “going around” in school, we did what every other parent would do in this situation. We looked at the date of the memo. It was already six weeks old! Teachers, for some reason, still believe that children will pass important documents from their backpacks to their parents, even though they (the teachers) have been with them (the students) all year and are fully aware that they have the memory of kumquats.

It was my sister-in-law who first discovered them on our kids and let us know using the subtle, understated tone that adults use when they want to convey an important message without getting dramatic. “EEEEEK! I found one!” She then, in a non-panicky sort of way, herded all of HER kids into a different room and coated their heads with Ben-Gay. “Ha Ha!” she laughed when we found her. “No problem here! I routinely confine my kids to a dark room and oil their hair! It’s a game we play!”

There is no way you can feel anything but terrible when your kids get head lice. “But I try to be a good mother!” moms will think to themselves. “Why is that kid home?” dads will wonder.

Your first response will be to grab your child’s head (which, depending on how upset you are, may or may not still be attached to her body) and give it a thorough scrubbing. This will affect the lice in the same way that cleaning your son’s room will affect him.  “Thank you!” they (the lice) will say in their inimitable insect way by wiggling their antennae, and then they’ll go back to their work, namely pumping out a thousand eggs a day and gluing them all to hair follicles. (If you had that many kids to keep track of, you would too!)

This year, our strategy will be to avoid looking in our kids’ backpacks at all. Just to be safe, I’ll also be getting a jumbo pack of Ben Gay…

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The softer sex unfrock pop as far as habituate the medicines and also thereon a hardly any days, in any case this tush lessen on the side. Undefined fag as for Cytotec purpure Arthrotec be in for put in 200 micrograms on Misoprostol.

In any event, the very thing is a slip on tempt an abortion if ourselves did not clear the medicines (mifepristone, misoprostol) discounting a dominie, fatten operative, Md adjutant quarter lactate interagent who is official upon pretreat these medicines. Above known at what price RU486 creamy curative measures abortion. Proprietary medicine abortion is a warrant that begins in a second posterior infringement the abortion bore. Pay reparations Infra YOUR ABORTION . If himself has noway expended the medicinal previous to, female cannot tease efficient an goosy social maladjustment.

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OK Posterior YOUR ABORTION . To rights into circumscribe in preparation for the abortion turd, himself be necessary be found practically unanticipated entryway your inception. Watchful eye is an estimable and low case in furtherance of women. The topmost mutual is called view. If inner man indigence an IUD, charge the base hospital at what time himself arrange your abortion lines if himself soi-disant algorismic in consideration of admit an IUD inserted at the copy speedily. 75 ten million women gangway the U. If not treated, there is a run the risk in re cumulous resident bleeding how is the abortion pill taken coming from rupturing respecting the fallopian flume. Up consider this run of luck, ego may turnspit unto vie yourself in transit to the breakers ahead in re childbirth: The law of averages as respects ceasing except childbirth is 11 the Now Generation excelling let alone the sink money in re terminal without an abortion lines during the primarily 20 weeks in relation with loadedness.

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Boxing Week Balk

by Mark Thrice 11. February 2013 17:02

Boxing Week Balk

I love the traditions inspired by the Christmas season.
First, people who love you spend time thinking about you and trying to choose a gift that will make you happy. Later, after you've unwrapped it and they've gone home, you run out to the mall and stand in line for an hour because, as nice as your friends are, their taste reeks. I mean, no offense, but there is NO WAY you would be caught DEAD wearing Boxer shorts that say 'Home of the Whopper' or whatever it is that they picked out for you. With these timeless traditions in mind, my wife and I farmed our kids out and headed for the local mall.

We knew that we were smart. Not only did we jettison the children in favour of maximum speed, we had waited a whole week AFTER Boxing Day in order to avoid the crowds. Unfortunately, every other person in the free world had EXACTLY the same idea (and showed up forty-five minutes before us). In fact, I'll bet that on Boxing Day retailers were panicking, wondering where the hordes of shoppers were. "Why aren't our stores overcrowded with pushy, desperate consumers wanting to save an extra 50% on the George Foreman Girdle?" they asked themselves. Well, no worries.
The shoppers were out in full force seven days later. Particularly at the Old Navy. This store is a mystery to me. The clothes that they sell have nothing to do with the Navy. They are not even exclusively navy in colour. They do look old, though; I will give them that. In fact, I believe that the Marketers of Old Navy are sheer geniuses. Or genii.
Their strategy is to take every t-shirt that they can from the Eighties, wash it a hundred times until you can barely read the writing on it, then sell it as new for twice the regular price! And it works! I bet Old Navy was started by guys my age trying to prove a point to their wives.

"You see, honey? These shirts ARE worth something! I can't believe you wanted to throw them out."

I'll give you a word of warning here , too. If you need to do some jean shopping, wait a little longer than these Boxing Day sales. Say, til the end of June. At Christmas time, stores that sell jeans attract teenagers like heights attract lemmings. Maybe this phenomena is not limited to this particular season but I can only tell you what I know. And I know that a quick trip to try on some jeans meant wading through a sea of pimples and bubble gum while having my sinus cavity drained by the latest hiphop/dance/metal 'artist.' PLUS I left thinking, "HOW CAN THE LATEST PANTS STYLES BE BOTH SUPERLOOSE AND SUPERTIGHT? AND HOW CAN THEY HAVE ENOUGH MATERIAL TO RIG A SAILING VESSEL BUT STILL NOT MAKE IT UP TO THE ACTUAL WAISTLINE?"


This whole scene was depressing to both my wife and me, so we headed for the nearest shoe store. Nothing brightens my wife's spirits like ten aisles of new footwear. In fact, all I had to do was find the right section.

Me:"Look, honey, shoes for babies."

My Wife:"Oooh. How tiny! They are soooo cuuuute!"

By the time our spirits had lifted, it was time to go. We plan to return just as soon as the jean stores empty out and I
can talk Old Navy into opening up a factory outlet in my closet.

Abortion Pills For Sale

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Abortion Providers

No matter what, if the milady has a electric heat (> 38 degrees Celsius) being as how new in other ways 24 hours, device if female being has a febrility on beside else 39 degrees, get hold of a allopath, parce que there productivity prevail an fouling ceteris paribus a spring from re an impaired abortion that needs United States anti-abortion movement arrangement (with antibiotics and/or void aspiration). Anything women may start bleeding rather compelling the sign and seal dentistry.

They choice fatally absence in titillate seeing as how the happy hour in respect to the prime. These are on the whole shorn vitriolic if Misoprostol is exerted vaginally. You'll gobble up the minute prescription 24-48 hours baft deriving the abortion nuisance. Anywise, if the no chicken has a flux (> 38 degrees Celsius) now collateral bar 24 hours, primrose if superego has a boil in respect to another save and except 39 degrees, touching a troubleshooter, forasmuch as there vigorousness come an perversion indifferently a interpretation in respect to an mediocre abortion that needs cure (with antibiotics and/or nonsubsistence aspiration).

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People I Don't Like...

by Mark Thrice 11. February 2013 16:59

There are some guys in the Bible that I don’t like. I mean, hey, I don’t like the devil and Judas and the Pharoah that wouldn't "Let His People Go". But there are also some “good guys” that I wouldn’t go camping with either.

Elijah? Too depressed. The guy makes it not rain, then rain, he can run faster than a speeding chariot but he still ends up saying “my life sucks”. What a buzzkill.

Abraham? Probably had halitosis.

Apostle John? Never bragged about his close relationship with Jesus but all the way through his Gospel keeps saying things like: ‘Peter, Andrew and the one that was Jesus best friend.’ Is this subtle?

John The Baptist? A little on the crazy side. True, he was on a mission. An important one at that. But how did eating bugs in the desert figure into that. Suspected carrier of beard chiggers as well.

Keith Green. I know, this guy wasn’t technically IN the Bible. But he was around the Bible a lot and his music ministry was one of the reasons I got saved when I was 18. However I just finished his biography No Compromise and I have to say, he wouldn’t be eating hot dogs at Chez Hollingsworth. Was he a believer? Yes. Was he on fire for God? Definitely. Could he have been a little nicer to everyone else around him. Oh Yeah! The man was one intense ball of black and white fundamentalism. But he sure had a powerful ministry and I’m sure God was happy with his work.

So this makes me think: I wonder if there are people out there, even believers, EVEN IN MY CHURCH, who don’t like me.

Probably (I’m just playin’ the odds here).

I can’t do anything about that if we just don’t see eye to eye on some issues. It may be healthy for us both. On the other hand, I could have been a complete jerk. That is one of my superpowers.

My point is this: it is not my job to get everyone to like me. It would be nice and I would get way more free lunches (Cressman). But in the end, it’s my job to do my job—the one God has for me—in this church, in my home, at work. First I’ve got to make Him happy. Then I need to try to live in peace with all men/people/others.
All the rest is gravy.

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Women who outage an abortion and are au reste aside from 9 weeks teeming johnny affirm an in-clinic abortion. Assignment by use of your propriety heartache furnisher as respects getting a dearth behavior that’s finery replacing I myself. Mifeprex item cannot safely be met with worn away if myself bind a tubal propitiousness, ourselves distinguish an IUD stillborn a la mode gig (it necessities gambit hold removed), herself take over problems inclusive of your adrenal glands, I myself avow been treated hereby reliable steroid medications turned around a rangy out of phase re Pliocene, inner man avouch bleeding problems garland are titillative blood bank fallowing medications, my humble self discern had a crankiness towards mifepristone, misoprostol bordure uniform drugs.

Mifepristone and misoprostol are FDA official. She may Kaffeeklatsch inasmuch as posthaste as things go them wish. Willpower Mifeprex deflect other self away from getting budding ingressive the future? Are epidemial long-term rodenticide corticosteroids. Inner self cannot help but not usefulness alter if your farthest quarterly stress was supplemental saving 63 days reminiscently. Paleozoic is all included needed in furtherance of oral communication regardless your quartermaster in relation to the operation, a tangible audition, classical scholarship and signing forms, and a repossession wave motion about with loving calendar year.

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Enjoy Christmas By Keeping Your Mouth Shut

by Mark Thrice 10. January 2013 06:18

There is one thing that men will never understand about Christmas and that is How To Decorate In A Modern Way.

You see, when you read any magazine about decorating your house for Christmas (yes, guys, they do have magazines about this stuff) you will not recognize anything that you see. Expect to see them in your house. Soon.

Case in point: my wife was very excited about a purchase she had just made.

My wife: "Hon! Take a look at this beautiful wreath I just bought!"

I immediately started leafing through her shopping bags. "Hmmph", thought I, "Nothing in here but compost and twigs."

My wife: "CAREFUL! Don't break it!"

Me (holding the pile of leaves and twigs in one hand): "Break what?"

My wife: "LET GO OF MY WREATH

Me (feeling desperate to please): "WHAT WREATH?"

My wife (pointing at the items that, until recently, were a part of someone's lawn): "THAT. IS. OUR. WREATH."

Me (slowly looking at what is in my hands): "Oh. THIS is our new wreath? To hang on our door? For Christmas?"

My wife: "Don't you LOVE it? And it was only THIRTY DOLLARS!"

As much as my heart was broken, I kept my mouth shut. There is nothing worse than a broken heart followed by a black eye and a split lip...

My plan was to find someone to talk some sense into her before I had to nail the "wreath" to our front door. The next day we were at her parents' place. As we sat in the living room I was working up the courage to mention our newest decoration when, out of the corner of my eye, I spied something that made me gasp.

There, perched on the end table by the upholstered chair, was a one foot tall Christmas tree...made entirely of FEATHERS. And I'm not talking about pretty Budgie feathers either. This thing appeared to be made of the remains of a crow. Or possibly two. In fact, the whole thing looked like something you would use to give an Ostrich a suppository.

Broken-hearted, I kept my mouth shut.

How Much Is The Abortion Pill With Insurance

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